Saturday, July 12, 2008

The People of State College Part Sixteen: The Blue Loop Bus Drivers

   A Chinese post doc and I went to play tennis today.  I sucked and he didn't know the rules.  On the way back we took the bus.  A bus went right past our stop and the driver pointed behind her but did not stop.  There were a lot of people on the bus so I assumed she was pointing at them and saying she didn't have room.  But I've ridden the 38 Geary in San Francisco and I know that no matter how many people are on a bus you can always fit at least three more.  That's just science.  So I was angered.  Especially because her bus was only three quarters full, tops.
   At this moment I looked down the street and realized that she hadn't been pointing to the people on her bus but rather to another bus behind her.  
   I'd become what I always hated.
   What I mean by that is while I usually try and distribute my hate equally, there is one group of people I hate above all others:  People who complain when a bus passes them and they don't realize that the reason that the bus didn't stop was because there was another bus coming right behind.  I just plain hate them.  
   Also, I learned today that even in small towns busses show up back to back.  There's a conspiracy in there somewhere.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Movie Review: Shotgun Stories

I want live in Arkansas. There is a statewide limit of twenty words to a conversation. For example: "You raised us to hate those boys, and we do, and this is what it's come to." Or, "My father died." "What'd you do?" "I said some things." "Do you think that was wise?" "Doesn't matter." Also, if me and my brothers get into feuds like they did in this movie then we will win. Because there are so many of us. And my little sister can join in too. Numbers help because in the movie they went back and forth killing brothers. So other families would run out before mine. And they started off with pets. And since my family has a lot of pets any other family would have to go through all of them before they could even start getting on my brothers and I.  Also people in Arkansas have names like Shampoo.  He was my favorite character.  He always stirred up trouble by telling Son and Kid and Boy how their dog got killed, or how their brother got killed.  Good old lovable Shampoo.  Also the movie made it seem really scenic.


Too bad they never explained how Son got shot in the back. But other than that I would recommend this one.

Movie Review: The Wanted

In this movie, a 1000 year old fraternity of assassins uses a loom to plan their next kill. They read a binary code from the the fabric. Some one in real life is going to do this and then the movie will get sued and it will be just what it deserves because this movie sucked!!!!!!  No, it was okay.  But seriously, Hollywood thinks all they need to have anymore are curvy bullets and everyone will be happy.